This will be a short post as I feel I’ve perhaps been posting too much (is that a thing? I feel like it’s a thing) on here. Basically, I just wanted to see if anyone has anything to say on the topic of false memory syndrome and the wildly controversial ‘recovered memory therapy’ (RMT).
As you may or may not recall, RMT led to dozens, if not hundreds of individuals (apparently) confusing “memories” of trauma with traumatic thoughts or feelings they had used to create false memories. These “memories” in turn brought actual allegations of abuse, which in turn brought successful lawsuits against many of the psychiatrists who had practised RMT.
Many, many, MANY times throughout my life, I have wondered whether I was abused but cannot remember it. Aside from the severe mental illness/BPD that I’ve suffered from, my “evidence” of this possibility comes in the form of: vague feelings of panic and distress surrounding sexuality, panic at being alone with any single adult as a child, inability to tolerate rape/abuse scenes in movies (I have to get up and leave the theatre I feel so freaked out), and feelings of shame/being used or abused following totally consensual and non-abusive sex.Â
When I asked my therapist if this horrible possibility could somehow be a reality that I’ve obscured all memory of, she said, unequivocally, that yes, it very well could be. But I’m not convinced. I’ve been reading a lot of various blogs and articles on sexual abuse and false memories of the same, and I feel more distressed and less sure about anything than ever.
I realize this is a lot to ask – particularly if you have, in fact, been sexually abused – but if you have any thoughts on this topic, any insight or advice, I’d be most grateful to hear it (and, of course, feel free to contact me via private email/message if you’d prefer not to post on here).
Cat xxxx
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Half of a Soul - Life with BPD 
Hi Cat,
I can’t comment on this particular post, other than to say, you’re only posting too much if it feels like a burden to you – from my purely selfish point of view, I really like your posts, so keep them coming! 🙂
I discovered your blog a couple of weeks ago, and have been meaning to comment and say thank you so much for sharing your journey, your thoughts and your feelings, and for the straightforwardness and honesty, which are the most helpful things of all. Everybody’s experience of BPD is different, but your posts really resonate with me, and so often I’m amazed (and rather reassured!) by how your words describe exactly how I feel/react about certain things.
I’m looking forward to reading more and keeping up with your journey!
Take care,
x
This is very interesting that I come across this post at this time. I have been sexually abused and have recently been having fleeting images/senses that suggest sexual abuse might have happened in areas of my childhood that I have blanked out. I really do not know the answer but appreciate where you are coming from
Thank you so much for your comments, StillHiding and Cat. I’ll try to be less embarrassed about posting as often as I can, because I really like the community on here and the experience of sharing the things no one in my “real life” seems to get. xxxx